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Post by vrabinec on Feb 11, 2014 8:51:20 GMT -5
I think he should make the check out for fifteen mil, tell the bastard he owes him ten, and take the money from the other two. Now, THAT'S more like a horse trader.
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Post by Suzy on Feb 11, 2014 11:49:24 GMT -5
I think he should make the check out for fifteen mil, tell the bastard he owes him ten, and take the money from the other two. Now, THAT'S more like a horse trader. I didn't know you'd been to Ireland, Fred. |
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Post by whdean on Feb 11, 2014 20:57:00 GMT -5
I love that video. I'm resisting the urge to conclude that the 'pipes were dubbed. I love the pipes. |
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Post by Suzy on Feb 13, 2014 7:17:35 GMT -5
 And of course, she had to be blonde....  |
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Post by Becca Mills on Feb 13, 2014 10:30:16 GMT -5
And of course, she had to be blonde.... Heh, heh, heh.  |
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Post by vrabinec on Feb 14, 2014 11:27:45 GMT -5
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.
Pissed at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!"
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.'
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied,
'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.
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Post by Suzy on Feb 14, 2014 11:45:37 GMT -5
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Pissed at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!" The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.' 'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch. Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head. 'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?' The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear. LOL!  |
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Post by Pru Freda on Feb 14, 2014 12:31:11 GMT -5
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Post by Becca Mills on Feb 14, 2014 18:18:57 GMT -5
HA HA HA HA HA!!! Totally unexpected punch line.  |
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Post by vrabinec on Feb 16, 2014 13:34:46 GMT -5
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Post by Suzy on Feb 16, 2014 14:17:04 GMT -5
Perfect.
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Post by Becca Mills on Feb 16, 2014 15:21:14 GMT -5
<3 it!
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Post by Daniel on Feb 17, 2014 16:54:29 GMT -5
I don't know. That bear seems like a real asshat.
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Post by Suzy on Feb 17, 2014 17:09:17 GMT -5
I don't know. That bear seems like a real asshat. |
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Post by Becca Mills on Feb 17, 2014 17:28:54 GMT -5
I don't know. That bear seems like a real asshat. LOL! I'm always looking for an opportunity to use the word "asshat," but I've never come across one that good. Why did I miss it??? |
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Post by Becca Mills on Feb 17, 2014 23:53:45 GMT -5
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Post by vrabinec on Feb 18, 2014 9:19:05 GMT -5
Wow, those synchronized swimming faces are precious.  |
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Post by vrabinec on Feb 19, 2014 8:31:50 GMT -5
Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out.
Both were very faithful and loving wives, however
They had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi
Breezers.
Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to
Pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought
She would take off her panties and use them.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive
Pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.
She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave
That had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she
Proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business, they proceeded to
Go home.
The next day, the husband of one of the women was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over,
So he phoned the other husband and said:
"These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!"
"That's nothing," said the other husband,
"Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said.....
'From all of us at the Fire Station..
We'll never forget you.'"
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Post by Becca Mills on Feb 19, 2014 11:54:23 GMT -5
LOL!
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Post by vrabinec on Feb 20, 2014 11:40:20 GMT -5
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
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A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
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A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me". The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
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A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"
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A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
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A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he replies..
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A blond man is in jail.. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blond replies. "It should be around your neck" says the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".
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An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
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