"They" made me do it!

[lindymoone]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've struggled against using "they" as a singular for, well, ever. It just sounds wrong.

But now that I know the history of "they"... guess what? It still sounds wrong! But here's a different way to think about it, for it to feel right either way. Since no individual exists as a sole entity, anyway -- each of us is a mess of bacteria, viruses, mites and more -- from now on, when I use "they" instead of "he" or "she", I will remember that.

And all will be right with the wor(l)d.

Now I will try to link to this video about the subject.

[Daniel]

Singular "they" is something I avoid. I agree that it just looks and sounds wrong. I'd be willing to use it in dialog ... if I could stand to look at it.

I've been having the same problem lately with using present-rooted words in past tense writing. Words like yesterday, ago, this, and now are all rooted in the present. Using them in dialog is fine because dialog is always in the present (unless the character is speaking in past tense), but when the narrative is past tense, those words seem wrong. To my thinking, "the weather was nicer than yesterday" should be "the weather was nicer than the day before." I've yet to see a definitive statement on the subject from a reputable and knowledgeable source.

However, authors drop words like "this" and "now" into their past tense writing all the time and no one seems to care. Even the pro editors let it slide. It's probably one of those things that is illogical, but acceptable.

[ameliasmith]

I've always used "they" as a singular gender-neutral pronoun when that's called for, and now I have one friend (who I see only on FB these days) who identifies as non-binary (formerly male-identified) and prefers they to refer to them.... I still don't feel quite right using it for a specific person, but I'm trying.

[Deleted]

I use they, but not if I can avoid it. But it works and can be quite invisible if used right -- to me, at least.