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Post by carlos on Mar 24, 2016 18:37:40 GMT -5
I uploaded Desiree's wretched book, The Gardener's Apprentice. I begged her not to publish, but I can't resist her, and I was curious about the process of publication.
In the good old days it would have been banned in Boston, but now we must grit our teeth and pretend we had nothing to do with it. Kindle says it will be another 12 hours before the reading public gets a chance to humiliate her with their brutal reviews. Thank heavens for that.
She had chosen a much more amusing cover--which might have redeemed it a little. However, I couldn't get it to load, so I ended up adapting one of Kindle's stock covers. Not so great, but similar in concept.
It's vastly over priced. If Desiree ever finishes writing volume two I'll encourage her to make this volume perma-free.
Fair warning: there are no dogs, cats, ghosts, dragons, mercenaries, shots fired, happily-ever-afters, or other matters of interest--so, save your money.
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Post by Miss Terri Novelle on Mar 25, 2016 11:36:51 GMT -5
Convey my congratulations to Desiree on her glorious achievement.
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Post by carlos on Mar 25, 2016 11:48:37 GMT -5
Alas, it is still "in review". I guess they wanted to check with Jeff Bezos before releasing it. I don't blame them. It's scandalous, and he has a reputation to protect.
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Post by carlos on Mar 25, 2016 15:44:31 GMT -5
1:30 Pacific Daylight Time--it is now "Publishing" which is (apparently) the next step after "In Review". They say it could take 72 hours (although it is an unconscionably short book for the price.)
The third step must be "Rocking the Internet"--and maybe the fourth is "Congressional Hearing Scheduled".
Oh dear
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Post by Suzy on Mar 25, 2016 15:46:47 GMT -5
Congratulations to Desiree. I'm sure the book will be a tremendous success. Please post the link when the book is live.
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Post by carlos on Mar 25, 2016 19:40:34 GMT -5
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Post by lindymoone on Mar 26, 2016 14:17:18 GMT -5
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Post by Suzy on Mar 26, 2016 16:17:30 GMT -5
The cover is quite, eh, suggestive. I'm surprised Amazon has that in their stock. They normally frown on exposed flesh.
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Post by carlos on Mar 26, 2016 23:00:51 GMT -5
The cover is quite, eh, suggestive. I'm surprised Amazon has that in their stock. They normally frown on exposed flesh. Yes, I didn't like it as much as the one I bought from canstock images--but regrettably I couldn't load it. Not enough pixels, I suspect. Maybe I'll try it again later. In that one she was wearing a pair of jeans, although barely on her, and holding an apple--a nice reference to the subject matter--and no worse than the 'photorealistic' ladies who typically adorn the covers of other adult content 'romance' books. Well... we'll see. It won't be any loss if it sinks to the bottom of the genre. As Jack Chambers tells his writing students in my so-called 'literary' novel RAQUEL, "There are already enough books." |
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Post by lou on Mar 27, 2016 17:16:21 GMT -5
hey, terrific! I'm so glad you're having this experience.  |
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Post by Daniel on Mar 28, 2016 7:57:54 GMT -5
Go, Desiree!
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Post by carlos on Mar 28, 2016 10:33:05 GMT -5
The cover is quite, eh, suggestive. I'm surprised Amazon has that in their stock. They normally frown on exposed flesh. Suzy--thanks for this comment. It took me a day to realize its significance. The object of The Gardener's Apprentice is to make women laugh, not to make them uncomfortable. As I mentioned above, the cover illustration I intended to use was somewhat more playful--but still 'wrong' in the sense that it was a partially clothed young woman, as opposed to a partially clothed farm youth. Back to the stock images--for something more like Li'l Abner (an American comic hero from before your time.) |
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Post by Pru Freda on Mar 28, 2016 12:24:31 GMT -5
Delighted to hear that Desiree is finally out of the closet - as it were. May the algorithms bless her and all who sail in (and with) her.
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Post by carlos on Mar 28, 2016 13:15:27 GMT -5
Ha ha, thanks Lynda. (I just noticed Daniel's quotation from Napoleon, "Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever," a fitting epitaph to the works of Desiree Cayenne.)
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Post by carlos on Mar 29, 2016 14:07:48 GMT -5
I didn't like the cover much, either--so I have changed it, using the Amazon templates. It now looks a bit like something wrapped in brown paper--but perhaps you are all too young to remember when 'scandalous' books came in brown paper wrappers. I do hope to find a cover image I like better, but this one will do for the moment.
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ETA: I checked around a little and decided that Desiree's book (more saucy than steamy, more rompy than Rabelaisian) doesn't really qualify as 'erotic' under Amazon rules. It lacks the intent and intensity of such tomes as "Handcuffed to the Bed by my Billionaire Step-Brothers."
It is more like the cheerful saga of the New York State tomato grower, recently recommended on these pages (and not only because it takes place in upstate New York.)
The odd thing is that changing the cover, and the price, and the descriptors did not result in a new presentation to the beleaguered reading public. Click the ASIN number, or the URL (which are still the same in the revised version) and Amazon takes you back to the old cover, with the old price and the old description. Curious.
There is much that I do not understand about the publishing industry.
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