Blurb For My New Novel

[Deleted]

Just finishing the final editing and about to go live on the new novel. Exciting times.

Provocation

With tensions rising in post-war Europe, the Soviet Union closed the air corridors to Berlin, the former German capital, in a bid to starve the population into submission. The western allies responded by mounting the largest air supply operation the world had ever seen which would become known as the “Berlin Airlift”.
Step forward into the 1980s with the Cold War at its height. A NATO reinforcement exercise held at a British airbase in West Germany, brings British, American and French fighter crews together to practice the air corridor policing mission. When a Pembroke transport aircraft engaged in a covert reconnaissance mission is intercepted by a Mig fighter and forced to land in East Germany, events escalate. Will the crew become a pawn in the relentless confrontation as the Soviets increase the rhetoric? Have western military plans been compromised by the unexpected aggression?
Provocation is a fast moving thriller that replays the tensions of the Cold War and its dark undertones. As with his other novels, David Gledhill takes you into the cockpit of the Phantom fighter jet to experience the action first hand.

[Suzy]

Hmm, Dave... Doesn't really grab me, but I'm possibly not the best judge of this genre (except for my Biggles reading in my teens). But I do think that you need to mention a hero that readers can engage with. Who is in this novel? What is he up against? Where's the drama, the conflict? As it reads now, it's all about the cold war (brrr) and politics...

P.S, we're honest here, but in the nicest possible way...

[Deleted]

I agree with Suzy. It makes sense to emphasize the setting/time period but I think the hero needs to be first and foremost in the blurb.

Edit: On second thought, after glancing at Chris Fox's No Such Things as Werewolves, he doesn't have a hero in the blurb. Maybe if your novel not so character driven it could work? I'm not sure. I don't really read these types of novels. Though, I am a huge history buff and the concept does intrigue me.

[Daniel]

Aug 13, 2015 14:32:39 GMT -5 @davegledhill said:

Provocation is a fast moving thriller that replays the tensions of the Cold War and its dark undertones.

I'm probably not part of your audience, but I think your blurb needs to more or less "show" the above statement rather than "tell" it. In other words, use the emotions of the situation, perhaps focusing on a particular POV from the book, to make me want to go along for the ride. You might rearrange the blurb with the plight of the transport aircraft crew as the center point. Am I right in thinking that the story is mostly about their situation?

[Deleted]

Thanks for the thoughts. The Berlin Corridor exercise is the central theme and the Phantom is the heart of the series of novels. The Pembroke becomes a focus for a number of reasons although the one that is forced down is a core plot line.

I'll work on it thanks.

[Deleted]

Aug 13, 2015 15:09:01 GMT -5 @bookspressink said:

I agree with Suzy. It makes sense to emphasize the setting/time period but I think the hero needs to be first and foremost in the blurb.

Edit: On second thought, after glancing at Chris Fox's No Such Things as Werewolves, he doesn't have a hero in the blurb. Maybe if your novel not so character driven it could work? I'm not sure. I don't really read these types of novels. Though, I am a huge history buff and the concept does intrigue me.

Thanks for your thoughts. I am definitely in a niche market but deliberately so. It's what I know and I cut my teeth in the cockpit during the Cold War. I try to write "faction" along the lines of Clancy and Dale Brown; but that I was a good as them. The aircraft and the crews are certainly the heros, although one pair of aircrew have appeared in each novel.

[Deleted]

Aug 13, 2015 14:39:46 GMT -5 Suzy said:

Hmm, Dave... Doesn't really grab me, but I'm possibly not the best judge of this genre (except for my Biggles reading in my teens). But I do think that you need to mention a hero that readers can engage with. Who is in this novel? What is he up against? Where's the drama, the conflict? As it reads now, it's all about the cold war (brrr) and politics...

P.S, we're honest here, but in the nicest possible way...

It's interesting Suzy but Biggles featured strongly in my reading as a lad. There is no modern UK equivalent yet aeroplanes are still a fascinating topic and pastime for many people. I've set myself a huge challenge in going this route because, as you say, a traditional novel has the strong hero type. My fighter crew is fallible but still come home occasionally for "tea and medals". Sadly the Cold War and politics (inseperable at that time) feature strongly.

The comments are really helpful and thanks.

[Suzy]

I wanted to be a pilot, but I'm shortsighted, so that was impossible

I see what you mean, though. It is not your run of the mill action novel. I suppose the crew are all the heroes here?