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Post by Suzy on Apr 21, 2014 14:13:19 GMT -5
I have seen this a lot on the Internet. Passive-aggressive seems to be the new buzz word. It's the kind of thing you're told you are if you use heavy irony or tell someone very politely where to shove it.
So if someone is mean and nasty to you and you say something cutting in response, you're 'passive-aggressive'.
I like bitchy repartee and one-liners. I can flatten a rude person with a snappy response. Is that being passive-aggressive? Is this a way to give it back by accusing you of being nasty by someone who thinks they had the right to insult you?
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Post by vrabinec on Apr 21, 2014 14:18:41 GMT -5
You know, I was gonna reply to this thread, but I'm just not going to. Sigh.
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Post by Suzy on Apr 21, 2014 14:19:33 GMT -5
You know, I was gonna reply to this thread, but I'm just not going to. Sigh. Go make love to yourself, darling |
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Post by Suzy on Apr 21, 2014 14:19:50 GMT -5
was that good? Did i do it?
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Post by Becca Mills on Apr 21, 2014 14:22:11 GMT -5
Um ... it's sort of hard to come up with a clear definition. Husband comes home and has this convo with his wife:
H: "Hey, sweetie, how was your day?"
Wife: "Oh, it was okay. A little boring, maybe, since I couldn't invite Jane over, what with the lawn not being mowed. It's just so embarrassing that our house doesn't look presentable."
H: "Oops, I guess I forgot to mow last weekend."
W: "That's okay. I know you were really busy hanging out at the bar watching golf with Jack all day on Saturday. And then that fishing trip on Sunday was an all-day thing, too."
The wife here is being passive-aggressive, as opposed to just confronting the husband directly about the missed chore: "Hey, you didn't mow the lawn!"
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Post by vrabinec on Apr 21, 2014 14:25:03 GMT -5
Um ... it's sort of hard to come up with a clear definition. Husband comes home and has this convo with his wife: H: "Hey, sweetie, how was your day?" Wife: "Oh, it was okay. A little boring, maybe, since I couldn't invite Jane over, what with the lawn not being mowed. It's just so embarrassing that our house doesn't look presentable." H: "Oops, I guess I forgot to mow last weekend." W: "That's okay. I know you were really busy hanging out at the bar watching golf with Jack all day on Saturday. And then that fishing trip on Sunday was an all-day thing, too." The wife here is being passive-aggressive, as opposed to just confronting the husband directly about the missed chore: "Hey, you didn't mow the lawn!" Hmm, I would say that the "So busy" in the last line is too overt to make this passive. It really has to be subtle, as if it COULD be okay, but it's really not. |
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Post by Suzy on Apr 21, 2014 14:25:49 GMT -5
Um ... it's sort of hard to come up with a clear definition. Husband comes home and has this convo with his wife: H: "Hey, sweetie, how was your day?" Wife: "Oh, it was okay. A little boring, maybe, since I couldn't invite Jane over, what with the lawn not being mowed. It's just so embarrassing that our house doesn't look presentable." H: "Oops, I guess I forgot to mow last weekend." W: "That's okay. I know you were really busy hanging out at the bar watching golf with Jack all day on Saturday. And then that fishing trip on Sunday was an all-day thing, too." The wife here is being passive-aggressive, as opposed to just confronting the husband directly about the missed chore: "Hey, you didn't mow the lawn!" I see. We call that heavy irony over here and it's a kind of sport. I have several gold medals  |
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Post by Becca Mills on Apr 21, 2014 14:26:48 GMT -5
Um ... it's sort of hard to come up with a clear definition. Husband comes home and has this convo with his wife: H: "Hey, sweetie, how was your day?" Wife: "Oh, it was okay. A little boring, maybe, since I couldn't invite Jane over, what with the lawn not being mowed. It's just so embarrassing that our house doesn't look presentable." H: "Oops, I guess I forgot to mow last weekend." W: "That's okay. I know you were really busy hanging out at the bar watching golf with Jack all day on Saturday. And then that fishing trip on Sunday was an all-day thing, too." The wife here is being passive-aggressive, as opposed to just confronting the husband directly about the missed chore: "Hey, you didn't mow the lawn!" Hmm, I would say that the "So busy" in the last line is too overt to make this passive. It really has to be subtle, as if it COULD be okay, but it's really not. Dunno, vrab. I think passive-aggression is usually pretty obvious. It has tones of voice, too. Fake chipper or long-suffering exhaustion. |
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Post by Becca Mills on Apr 21, 2014 14:28:05 GMT -5
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Post by Suzy on Apr 21, 2014 14:29:20 GMT -5
I think it's bandied about by people who want to accuse you of being mean.They probably don't get the finesse.
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Post by vrabinec on Apr 21, 2014 14:34:12 GMT -5
Hmm, okay. I mean, Wiki is the preeminent authority. |
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Post by Becca Mills on Apr 21, 2014 14:34:31 GMT -5
I think it's bandied about by people who want to accuse you of being mean.They probably don't get the finesse. Well, in the mode I'm thinking of, it can be rather dreadful. People who do it tend to do it a lot and have these relationships with others where they pick, pick, pick. I think it's probably different from the "heavy irony" you have in mind.  |
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Post by Becca Mills on Apr 21, 2014 14:37:09 GMT -5
Hmm, okay. I mean, Wiki is the preeminent authority. On average, it's been found to be surprisingly accurate (same rate of error as the Encyclopedia Britannica, in one study).  But if you don't trust it, you can follow the citations to the sources the anonymous writers are using and check those out directly. Sometimes they're good, sometimes not. |
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Post by vrabinec on Apr 21, 2014 14:41:49 GMT -5
Yeah, no, it's okay, go ahead and make me look bad in front of my friends. I don't mind.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2014 14:42:18 GMT -5
I really thought we were supposed to be talking about writing topics on this forum, but I guess this is okay.
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Post by cbedwards on Apr 21, 2014 14:43:37 GMT -5
It's like a back handed compliment. It's nice on the surface, but it really isn't.
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Post by Suzy on Apr 21, 2014 14:43:46 GMT -5
I really thought we were supposed to be talking about writing topics on this forum, but I guess this is okay. This is about writing. I need to know about this so I can put it into my books. But I have a feeling it's already there... |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2014 14:46:45 GMT -5
I really thought we were supposed to be talking about writing topics on this forum, but I guess this is okay. This is about writing. I need to know about this so I can put it into my books. But I have a feeling it's already there... Oh, if you want go on about this, I guess it's okay. Don't mind us. |
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Post by Suzy on Apr 21, 2014 14:51:09 GMT -5
This is about writing. I need to know about this so I can put it into my books. But I have a feeling it's already there... Oh, if you want go on about this, I guess it's okay. Don't mind us. us? Who are you? |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2014 15:02:26 GMT -5
This is about writing. I need to know about this so I can put it into my books. But I have a feeling it's already there... Oh, if you want go on about this, I guess it's okay. Don't mind us. Yes, by all means. Far be it from us to try and dictate what topics are explored. After all, we're not admins. |
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But if you don't trust it, you can follow the citations to the sources the anonymous writers are using and check those out directly. Sometimes they're good, sometimes not.
